


You Never Said Goodbye

by BehindTheCorner



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Like, M/M, Rare Pairings, expect it to get angstier the further in, there's is no happy ending we all suffer together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 03:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheCorner/pseuds/BehindTheCorner
Summary: You never said I'm leaving,You never said goodbye.Marlon never thought a strange boy wearing walker skin would be brought to the school one day. James never expected to find a group after the trauma he got from his time in the Whisperers. Above all, they never expected to find comfort and a connection that would only grow stronger with time.Time that would bring a certain teenage girl and a little boy in her care to their front door.[AU - Marlon/James with very minor Louis/James (Flirting that never went anywhere). James is brought to the school during the time Minnie and Sophie were still there, and slowly starts a relationship with Marlon.]





	You Never Said Goodbye

_You never said I'm leaving_

_You never said goodbye._

“Marlon.”

Fucking Aasim again. Barging into his office, constantly dragging Marlon’s attention away from other matters that needed him. Unmoving, Marlon stared down at the map on his desk, staring at the worn, crinkled paper before Aasim’s voice called out again. “ _Marlon._ ”

“What the fuck do you want?” He snaps, turning his head around sharply. “I’m kinda busy here, Aasim.”

“Minnie and the others came back with something. Might wanna take a look at it.” What? What could they have possibly found that they need Marlon to look at?

Leaning against the door with that same scowl on his face, Aasim simply shrugged when Marlon finally pulled himself away from his desk. All the things he still had to do could be done after he sorted out whatever it was the other kids wanted from him. Jacket pulled from the office chair and thrown on, he paused when Rosie raised her head up in curiosity from her bed. That stubby tail wagging and head tilted, she whined softly as he ordered softy. “Stay here, girl. I won’t be long.”

Another long whine came from his longtime companion, but other than that, she listened to what he said, lowering her head back down. Marlon turned to the other boy, curious himself to what it was they found. “So, you wanna tell me what it is the others found?”

Those brown eyes darted around momentarily, almost like Aasim himself was unsure, but what he revealed was something that Marlon would never have guessed.

“A boy, but…” A pause. “Minnie said they found him wearing… walker skin?”

Marlon stood there silently, staring at Aasim with a blank expression while he tried to process what he just said. Did he really just say walker skin?

In the end, all he could reply with was. “What?”

“I don’t know, it’s what she said.” Pushing himself off the door frame, he turned to leave the office, only stopping mid step when Marlon didn’t follow. “Well, come on. You should check it out before we do anything. Ruby’s already gone to see if he’s alright.”

Snapping out of his surprise, Marlon finally followed after the other survivor, making sure to shut the door behind him.

The hallways were pretty empty in the day. Everyone had either gone outside to enjoy the fading summer days or, in Louis’ case, had retreated into the piano room to play that fucking piano for hours on end. At least he was sort’ve decent with the bulky thing. Almost on cue, soft piano music drifted down the hallway where the music room was. With the soft sunlight beaming in, the music gave the whole place a calm, almost ethereal feeling while they walked, at least for Marlon.

Aasim on the other hand didn’t appreciate the music. “He’s been at that thing all day. You had him hunting out in the woods today with the others, but I don’t even think he’s left that room.”

“It’s just Louis. His heart’s in the right place, if nothing else.”

“Yeah, right.” Aasim scoffed, stopping at the bottom of the staircase as he continued his rant. “You always have an excuse for him. Louis doesn’t take anything seriously. Fuck, I don’t even think he can.”

“Alright, Aasim. You’ve made your fucking point.” Marlon snapped. Deep down, he knew that Aasim made sense, and there were even times when Marlon himself was annoyed with Louis’ antics, but Louis was still his best friend. All the years surviving, he was just thankful that there was one person who saw the best in shitty situations.

Even though Aasim looked like he wanted to keep arguing, he finally threw in the towel when Marlon just turned around and kept walking. Out of the main building, he had to raise his hand over his eyes to stop the bright sunlight from blinding him. Hours in a stuffy office didn’t do much for him. At the very least, the soft summer breeze and fresh air was welcome on his face. Even though he wanted to remain for a few more minutes, he found himself leaving the peaceful scene just as fast as he arrived, following Aasim across the courtyard to the smaller building to the side of the school.

It had been a while since he had gone in. After Ms Martin died and the other adults up and abandoned all the kids to die, he found himself always sleeping in the office with Rosie. Isolating himself from the kids he was trying to protect. It was lonely, but in Marlon’s mind, it was something he would deal with. When he reached the door, Willy had barged past, running off to whoever knows where before Marlon could even get a word in.

Leaving it be, he got out of the warm sunlight and inside the cool building, finding the hallway significantly darker with what little sunlight barely getting through the boarded up windows. It was silent, save for the faint wind blowing and the hushed talking going on just around the corner. Aasim said nothing, finally letting Marlon go on alone as their leader peeked down the hallway, finding Minerva and Violet talking in quiet whispers.

He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but that wasn’t the only thing grabbing his attention. Approaching them, he couldn’t help but stare at the weird thing that Minerva was holding onto.

“I don’t like this, Minnie.” Violet muttered, crossing her arms like she does so often. “Finding a boy amongst a shit ton of walkers? There’s no way he isn’t bit.”

“We couldn’t exactly leave him out there to die.” Minnie shot back, still holding tightly onto the unknown object.

“I’m just saying. Seems like a waste of supplies on an already dead person.”

“What’s this you gotta say, Vi?” Marlon’s sudden voice spooked the teenage girls. Jumping slightly, Minerva turned to see him approaching slowly, glancing down at the thing in her hands before Marlon stopped beating around the bush. “What is that?”

“I… I think it’s a mask?” She seemed unsure, disgusted at the idea of holding onto something as gross as dried walker skin. When Marlon reached out for it, she gladly handed it over, brushing a long stray of ginger hair behind her ear as he examined it.

It felt gross, like an old and dried leather handbag, adn the smell did nothing to help its case as Marlon wrinkled his nose in disgust. What was someone doing with such a thing?

“We found him wearing it. The walkers didn’t even seem bothered with him.” Minerva explained further, surprised by the whole situation as all of them tried to figure out what was going on. Looking up at her, he raised an eyebrow as she added. “Ruby’s in with him now. He was in pretty bad shape.”

“What’s this about a bite, Vi?” Violet seemed surprised when the conversation turned to her, but quickly reverted to her annoyed scowl and shrugged.

“Minnie said he was surrounded by walkers. No way someone can get outta there without getting bit.” He found himself agreeing with her. From what Minerva described to him, the situation seemed like a real shitshow. Time would tell soon enough, he supposed, and sure enough, the door the girls were standing beside opened.

Through the crack, a familiar face peeked through, chubby and sporting wild red hair tied back in a bun. Marlon kept hold of the mask, walking past them as he muttered in a low voice. “How’s he?”

“Tired, and I’m not surprised. Poor guy looked like he’s been through a lot.” Opening the door more, she stepped aside to let Marlon enter the room. “He seems lucid enough if you wanna talk to him. I’ll give you guys some space.”

Heavily hinting it at the others, Ruby all but shoved them down the hall to their own duties, leaving Marlon alone in the bedroom. It was strange being in a room that once had kids living in it. Happy, smiling faces that he could see out of the corner of his eye, but when he looked properly, all that greeted him was bare walls and deafening silence. That didn’t last long, as the other living person in the room quickly grabbed his attention.

He was just sitting there. Knees pulled up to his chest, back pressed firmly to the wall, he watched Marlon move around the room with an unwavering gaze, almost like a wild animal. It unnerved him. Carefully, he stepped forward, pausing every so often to test the waters with the newcomer. When he made no objections did Marlon come closer. Holding out the mask, he asks softly. “This yours?”

The boy eyed it up, showing for the first time anything other than caution and fear. He was relieved. Nodding softly, his voice was barely louder than a whisper. “Yes.”

Without another word, the mask was taken from Marlon’s hand, returned to its rightful owner while the leader of the school walked over to the chest of drawers. Turning around, he leaned against it casually, propping his hands on the wooden top as he started questioning. “You got a name?”

A long pause was his only response. Wondering if he somehow offended the other survivor, Marlon rubbed the back of his neck and thought of a quick apology to smooth the awkward conversation over. That is, before that same quiet voice replied. “James.”

“What?” Seeing the boy look away shyly made him feel like an idiot, but with his voice so low, Marlon found himself straining to hear anything he said.

“James.” He repeated, louder that time so Marlon could hear him. “That’s… my name.”

“Well, what were you doin’ out in the forest, James?” A single thought stuck in the back of his head, pushing any other thoughts away as he waited for an answer. Much to his surprise, it wasn’t suspicion or distrust that pushed his questioning, he found himself curious to learn what brought James practically to the school’s doorstep.

He didn’t say anything. Slowly, Marlon found himself growing impatient, and decided to get the one question bothering him out into the open. “My friend said she found you surrounded by walkers. Are you bit?”

“No.”

“What were you even doing with the walkers?”

James paused again. He seemed unwilling to explain, and Marlon found the conversation growing more and more awkward, wondering if it was best to give him some time to rest and try again later. Before he could even suggest it, though, James finally explained what happened out in the woods. “I was walking with them.”

“...What.”

“I… figured you’d react like that.” For a moment, he seemed downtrodden, looking away while Marlon stood there feeling like an idiot.

“No, I’m just…” He groaned, running a hand through his hair while thinking through what he wanted to say. Sure enough, he softly added with uncertainty clear in his voice. “What’d you mean when you said you ‘walked’ with them?”

“I was part of a group. Called themselves ‘The Whisperers’.” James started, watching Marlon closely as he took a seat on the bed opposite to him. “They learned how to walk amongst the walkers by wearing their skin. That’s what this is.”

He held up the mask that Marlon was previously holding. Knowing what it was, he swallowed back the urge to puke at the thought of walker skin, instead shuddering to himself while James continued. “I was guiding them away from the river. It wasn’t safe for them.”

“Safe? You care if it’s safe for them?”

“I…” James sighed, looking away with a saddened expression clear on his face. “Just forget it.”

Marlon wanted to learn more. More of James’ thing with the walkers, more of this group he mentioned. Hell, he would’ve been glad to learn on how wearing a walker skin mask helped James guide walkers. All the years he survived, he never heard of someone guiding the walkers like that. Walkers weren't something that could be controlled. They were just eating machines. Things that ate and ate until there was nothing left to them.

Still, he didn’t feel right prying more out of the newcomer, and so changed the topic. “You know, you’re free to stay here if you want. If, you know, your other group isn’t still waiting for you.”

“They’re not.” He never thought it would be quite as sad hearing that someone was all alone as it was. Still, James’ next response caught him even more off guard. “Not yet. I’m… not ready.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry.” Marlon must’ve been obvious with his disappointment. Quickly pushing that emotion away, he decided to approach the situation more tactfully, shaking his head with a soft smile.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. Just thought you’d prefer being here than out there. It’s only gonna get colder anyway.”

James said nothing to that. Rather, he glanced over at the door, eyeing the hallway just outside his room nervously before muttering. “The girl before. She was very… welcoming. It’s been a while since I found people like that.”

“Ruby’s got perfect bedside manners.” Marlon joked, finding himself smiling more when he managed to get a chuckle from James. “She’s a good friend. Been keeping everyone alive since this all started.”

“You’ve been here all this time?” Marlon had never thought it as a big surprise that someone would remain in the same place for years, but given the state of the world they both lived in now, it was to be expected for people to move around. Communities fell, people died. It was to be expected.

Nodding softly, he decided against telling James all his secrets, rather giving him a brief summary. “Used to be a boarding school. Ericson’s School for Troubled Youth.”

“And you’re a trouble youth?”

“That obvious?” Another chuckle from James.

“No. You’ve been pretty friendly so far.” The smile on James’ face faded suddenly, replaced with pain as he clutched his side. Worry gnawed away at Marlon’s stomach, concerned for the other boy as he seemingly got the pain under control.

“You alright there?”

“It just hurts.” From the look of the blood stain on James’ yellow sweater, he had gotten into some trouble before being brought back to the school. Before Marlon could ask him, James beat him to the punch, explaining with as little details as he could. “It’s just a flesh wound. Some people came across the herd I was in and started shooting. I barely escaped.”

“They shot you?”

“They didn’t know ‘I’ was ‘me’. Not really.”

“Well,” Marlon started, getting up from the bed with hands on his hips. “I can’t send you back out there like this. When you’re given the all clear by Ruby, you can go. Deal?”

He held out his hand. James eyed it nervously, unhappy with the proposal, but even he knew that with a bleeding wound, he would only attract walkers and unsavoury survivors straight to him. So, he sighed and took Marlon’s hand, shaking it to signify their deal. Smirk on his face, Marlon released James’ hand and turned around, talking over his shoulder as he softly suggested. “Get some rest now.”

Leaving the room, he didn’t see the same smile on James’ face.

 

_You were gone before I knew it,_

_And only God knew why._

 

It had been a week since James was brought to the school by Minerva and the other kids. His wound no longer hindered him, and he found himself leaving the bedroom to check out the rest of the school more and more often. He never thought he’d see so many kids in one place. Youthful, happy faces running past while others chatted amongst themselves. Still, he felt unnerved when the one blonde girl watched him intently from Minerva’s side.

Rubbing the healing wound through his bandages absentmindedly, he enjoyed the feeling of the sun’s warmth on his shoulders, sitting on the stairs leading up to the main building in the courtyard. Everyone around him carried on with their work,having already settled their curiosity over the newcomer during his stay there. He found himself growing more comfortable around them, but there was always that nagging reminder in the back of his mind.

Out of place. That’s how he felt, sitting there with people his own age, and yet feeling no connection to them through that. Their worlds couldn’t have been more different, and with his past actions constantly at the back of his mind, James found himself yearning for the sheltered life the other kids had. Anything to forget the words that constantly rang in his ears.

“You’re not dead. That’s good.”

Caught off guard by the voice, he glanced in the direction of the voice, surprised to find Louis walking over to the steps with that usual goofy look on his face. Something about Louis made him feel at ease, especially when he pauses and places his hands on his hips, the tails of his coat swaying gently in the wind as he continued. “I was just about to go and conduct important work on the piano. You’re free to join me.”

“I don’t know much about pianos.” Even before the apocalypse, James was never a musically gifted person.

“Good thing I know enough for the both of us then, huh?” Louis gave him a toothy grin, managing to get a smile from the reclusive survivor before he pushes more. “Come on, it’ll do you some good.”

“Sure…” James chuckled, getting up to his feet while Louis took the lead, walking up the steps with an amused grin.

All the time he’s been at the school, James had rarely been in the main building, mostly restricted to the dorm rooms to heal by Marlon and Ruby alike. Even with the scattered furniture and graffiti etched into the walls, it had a certain feeling to it, like this is exactly how he’s pictured a school full of troubled kids to be like. Louis carried on chatting away, filling the silence between them with random bits of information. His pet turtle was a common topic that he reverted back to.

“He was a cool lil’ guy.” Finally, he paused in his ramblings and looked over at James, finding the other boy still looking around the school. Hands on hips, Louis grinned that same toothy grin of his. “How’re you likin’ this place?”

“It’s… loud. I never thought I’d meet someone as loud as Willy.”

Louis laughed at that. Opening the door leading into the music room, he entered first, shortly followed by James as he glanced around the room in awe. It had the same abandoned look as the rest of the school, but something about the candles that dotted around the room and the grand piano standing in the middle made it seem more… homely.

“Well, he’s good for lookout.” Louis pointed out, making his way towards the piano while James took his time to look around. The cabinets full of documents caught his attention instantly, walking over with a curious raise of his eyebrow.

They were up too high for him to reach without a ladder, and he didn’t feel right snooping through things that didn’t belong to him. Even Louis tried to drag his attention away with his cheerful voice calling after him. “You ain’t gonna learn standing all the way over here.”

“Sorry.” He apologised, leaving the cabinet alone as he instead went over to where Louis was sitting. When he reached the piano, Louis shuffled over on his seat, gesturing to the empty space.

It creaked horribly when James took up the offer, sounding like it had better days, but Louis showed none of the worry and instead began playing the piano with more ease than James was capable of. Sitting there, watching the way his fingers danced along the ivory keys, he enjoyed the music echoing through the room. Until Louis struck up another conversation with a sly tone. “Heard you were planning on leaving soon.”

“I... “

“Because if you are, that means we gotta have one awesome going away party.” Louis joked, pausing his playing to shoot a wink at James. “Wouldn’t be fair otherwise.”

“Uh…. Thank you?”

“Uhh, you’re welcome.” Looking back at the keys, James allowed a small smile on his face while Louis continued to play. He never thought the prospect of leaving would be so hard. But with Louis bringing it up, he felt more torn about it than he had when he first got to the school. He didn’t feel ready to be around other people, and yet he felt like he wasn’t ready to be alone again.

The confusion was ruining his mood. Luckily, that didn’t last long when a new voice called out. “Thought you’d be in here.”

The voice turned out to be Marlon’s. Both boys stopped their little moment to look over, Louis raising his hands from the keys as he replied quickly. “Hey, I ain’t meant to be anywhere else today.”

“But you’re still here when you are meant to be somewhere else.”

“If Aasim thinks he and his multiple plans can get food, then he and his multiple plans can do it alone.” Louis seemed more annoyed than anything, shaking his head briefly before adding. “Besides, I help with morale. That’s important too, you know.”

Coming more into the room, Marlon stared at Louis blankly with a raised eyebrow. “You can’t eat morale, Louis.”

“Oh _contraire_ , my good friend. Morale could make a good _foie gras._ ” James tried to be serious in this conversation, seeing things from both sides, but it was difficult when Louis just kept on talking. “Or, you know, insert-another-french-delicacy.”

“You’re such a dumbass.” Shaking his head in disbelief, Marlon closed the distance between them and stared down at the piano, showing none of the love for it that Louis did. “I shoulda chopped this into firewood when I had the chance.”

“Good thing you didn’t, then. Because then James here couldn’t hear my beautiful music.”

Please don’t drag him into this. James just sat there, staring at piano as he spoke up. “...It’s nice.”

“See?” The brief argument ended with that, Louis deciding that he was the victor as he changed the conversation with a grin. “Given that you’re here and not locked in your office again, there’s a guitar over there just waiting for you.”

Marlon sighed at that, looking over at the guitar leaning against the wall just beside the window. “Come on, Lou. I ain’t got time to mess around.”

“And you never will with that attitude. Gotta balance the work with fun, dude. Otherwise you’ll go insane.”

There was no biting remark to that. It seemed like even Marlon couldn’t argue with that logic, and with him looking like he had better days, it might’ve been worth it to take Louis’ advice just that once. So, giving up the argument, Marlon strolled over to the guitar and picked it up, taking a seat on the floor, right next to an old gramophone. James spun around on his spot in the chair, when Louis started playing a soft melody on the piano once more. Marlon kept quiet, staring down at the strings with confusion momentarily flashing across his face, but sure enough, he started strumming along with his best friend.

It seemed like they had played this particular song many times. Even with Marlon’s rusty playing skills, he quickly picked it back up again without much effect on the song. For once since they met, he seemed less like the stressed leader trying to keep everyone safe, and more like a teenager, enjoying a summer day with his friends. Almost reminded James of his time with Charlie, before everything that happened.

He found himself staring, and when Marlon looked up from the guitar, he quickly looked away and focused on the keys instead.

Soon enough, the song was over, and Marlon put the guitar back in its original spot. The absence of music was missed, but Louis was quick to fill it with his voice as he joked. “There, now you got all the stress out through the power of music.”

“It was nice, I’ll give you that.” Marlon conceded, looking down at James with that small smile fading slightly. “I actually came here finding you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Since you’re pretty much back on your feet, I wanted to see what you planned to do now.” James thought carefully about that, listening as Marlon quickly added. “You said you weren't ready, and that’s alright. We can walk you out if you want.”

Did he want that?

Did he want to leave? Did he want to stay?

James didn’t know. This felt like a chance to start again, but that same doubt was pushing him away from it all, reminding him of everything that happened. He didn’t want it to happen again. “I don’t know.”

“Huh?” That certainly wasn’t the response Marlon was expecting.

“I don’t want to leave, but… I don’t think I’m ready yet.” He explained, looking up at those same blue eyes that greeted him back in his room.

Before either of them could say something, Louis jumped the gun and pointed out. “Let’s build him a house.”

“Louis, not the house idea again.” Marlon groaned.

“Yes, the house idea again.” A hand suddenly appeared on James’ shoulder, with Louis face resting on the other side as he gestured to thin air, obviously picturing what said house would look like. “Think about it. Four floors, first floor being the giant swimming pool obviously, and with a beautiful skyli- Wait, what were your grades?”

“My… grades?”

“Yeah, you only get the skylight if you got straight A’s.”

“I didn’t get straight A’s.” James couldn’t even remember what he got while still in school. Still, he was certain it wasn’t as high as straight A’s.

“Oh. Well sorry young man, no skylight for you.” Joking aside, Louis continued explaining in a more serious tone. “There’s plenty of space in the school to make something up. That way you can stay but not constantly be around everyone, you know?”

Marlon seemed to agree with the plan. “That’s actually not a bad idea, Louis.”

“I’m more than just a pretty face.”

“I...I would like that.” James nervously replied, grateful when Louis finally backed up and gave him some personal space.

“It’s decided, then!” Getting up from his chair, he walked over to the door. “I’ll be in charge of it, obviously. Sophie’ll have the stuff we need.”

Before James or Marlon could say anything, he was gone. The childlike enthusiasm for something as simple as a house was heartwarming, and the idea of having his own space helped untwist the nervous knot in James’ stomach.

“I guess it’s decided, then.” Marlon’s voice piped up, snapping James out of his thoughts. “Come see me in a while. We can talk about what you can do around the school.”

With that, he turned and started walking out of the door. Before he could leave, he paused, hand on the door frame, and quietly confessed. “I’m glad to know you’re staying.”

Yeah. So was James.

 

_A million times I needed you,_

_A million times I cried._

 

The house that Louis built wasn’t something James would actually call a house. More like a tent, but that didn’t mean he was ungrateful for the gesture. In fact, it was better than the little camp he had back in the forest, and with solid stone walls around him, he found it easier to sleep those nights after first seeing his new home.

Months had passed, and with fall arriving, the school was frantic in trying to gather enough food to last them the winter. Even Marlon had left the safety of his office to go hunting. James wasn’t worried, the little he saw while out with Marlon showed that he was capable of defending himself, but when he saw the kids killing walkers, he decided to stay behind. He couldn’t stomach the sight of them killing like it was nothing, like it was a _game_ to some.

Louis sprung to mind with that. Swinging his chair leg around and acting like it was a competition, James recalled even trying to teach them to distract the walkers, keep them away from the school without any blood being shed, but no one listened. Sometimes he wondered if he was wrong for staying.

“You’re worried again.” Tenn’s quiet voice snapped James from his thoughts. Looking over at the child, he watched as Tenn carried on drawing, sketching away while sitting on one of the sleeping bags that the kids put in his tent. Leaving his drawing alone, he seemed worried too, even if what he said was the opposite. “It’s okay. Marlon has Minnie and Sophie with him. Brody, too.”

“They’ve been gone all day.”

“They always come back, though. Marlon makes sure they do.” He wished he shared Tenn’s optimism, but that feeling in his gut wouldn’t leave him. It happened every time a storm is about to come, and he fears that this time would be no different.

Getting to his feet, he had to bend over slightly with the low roof of his tent, grabbing the fabric hanging down as a door and moving it so that he could take a peek outside. The skies were getting dark again, seemingly doing so earlier with each passing day, and from how the wind blew through the courtyard, James knew it was another freezing night tonight. Closing the flap again, he sighed to himself, retreating back to his bed while Tenn carried on drawing.

He found a strange company in the young boy, enjoying the quiet moments where Tenn contently draws by himself. He was right. No point in sitting there and worrying for something he couldn’t change, and so James laid down on the sleeping bag, finding it much more comfortable than the ground. With only the lantern given to him as a light, he stared up at the ceiling with arms tucked under his head.

The silence didn’t last long, however, as Tenn spoke up again. “Minnie told me about you… and the walkers outside the school. How you didn’t want the others to kill them.”

Oh. James didn’t make eye contact with him, glancing down as Tenn continued. “I feel like I should tell you. She doesn’t like killing them either.”

“Really?” Minnie was hardly sent out with the other hunting teams. The only time he saw her do it was when she found him and when she left with Marlon and the others before. But knowing that someone else shared that same distaste for violence, it comforted him, made him feel like maybe there were people out there who understood.

“I just wanted you to know because I thought you might’ve felt lonely. You could talk to her about it when she gets back.” Tenn suggested, a small smile on his face.

James couldn’t help but smile back, nodding slowly as he replied. “Yeah. I think I will.”

That good mood didn’t last however, when they heard shouting coming from outside the tent. Jumping to his feet, James looked out, seeing everyone gathering around the school gates, hiding whatever it was that grabbed their attention. With Tenn beside him, they approached the group, confused with that worry returning tenfold in James’ gut.

Something was wrong.

He was proven right when he saw Marlon and Brody standing there, roughed up with Marlon bleeding from a busted lip, and the twins nowhere to be seen.

 

_If love alone could have saved you,_

_You never would have died._

 

Everything had gone so fucking wrong.

Marlon couldn’t feel anything but nerve wracking guilt hit him again and again. The cut on his lip wasn’t serious, and the kids bought his story of what happened. But that didn’t mean he could stop the shouts and screams as Minerva and Sophie were dragged away from echoing in his head.

Back in his office alone, he just sat on his bed, barely reacting even when Rosie shuffled closer to him and rested her head on his lap, whining softly when nothing she did even got a stir from her owner. He finally moved his hand, scratching her behind the ear while he stared ahead. He had to keep it a secret. No one could ever find out, and he’ll make sure no one ever would find out. Brody promised not to say anything. At least, he made her promise. Why did he do that?

Why did he give up so easily?

He tried rationalising it, saying that it was for the group, for the kids that only have sticks and bows compared to the kidnappers’ guns. Yet, there was that little thought that wouldn’t leave him be, constantly pulling him further and further into a pit of worthlessness.

Because he was a coward.

Suddenly, the door creaked loudly as it opened, with Marlon quickly snapping at whoever it was disturbing him. “Fuck off!”

“It’s just me.” James. Marlon quickly cursed himself out for jumping the gun, but said nothing out loud. Instead, the usually quiet one of the two explained softly. “Violet’s with Tenn now. He’s… not doing so good.”

“Shit.” Marlon sat forward, resting his head in his hands as he tried to keep it together. Even going as far as to dig his palms in to stop the tears that desperately wanted to come out. After a few moments, all it did was cause his eyes to sting and his vision to turn white, so he stopped and looked up at James again.

The other teen looked away nervously, rubbing his upper arm as he tried to find the right words to say. “The others decided to have the funeral tomorrow. There’s no bodies to bury, but… it might help everyone with saying goodbye.”

Something struck Marlon deep there. Another funeral. Having to say goodbye again. When it all started, that’s what he saw constantly. More bodies, more kids under his care _gone,_ and once again he has to stand there and listen to those who survived crying and wishing that it didn’t happen. Even if it wasn’t walkers that took the twins, walkers were the cause for most of the loss the school had suffered.

It was then that he felt like he was ready to snap.

“Do you think they’re still harmless?”

James stilled at that. Marlon wanted to stop there, let the conversation die, but he was so tired of losing everyone, and the thought of James’ philosophy getting him hurt sparked something inside of him. Getting up to his feet, Marlon asked again. “You said that we shouldn’t kill walkers. Th-That there’s more inside them of the person they once was. Well what kinda psycho had to have lived to leave behind things that killed so many of my friends?!”

“I…” James backed away slightly, unable to find the words to defend himself.

“You walked amongst them one time! Did they have names? Things that made them who they are?!”

“Names? No, they-”

“That’s right! You know why, James?! Because they aren’t fucking alive!” Marlon approached him, stopping when James took another step back as he continued his breakdown. Everything came spilling out. Every emotion, every fear, and he could do nothing to stop it. “Walkers aren’t people! They are monsters that hurt and kill and never stop!”

“Stop it.”

“Why?!” Another step towards him. James had nowhere to go when his back hit the desk, cornered as Marlon stopped in front of him, too far gone to stop his ranting. “Because you’re too fucking blind to see what’s in front of you?! Open your eyes, James! This ‘philosophy’ of yours is what’s gonna get you killed!”

“Shut up!” Marlon didn’t expect a violent shove. In a split second, he was on the floor with James towering over him, his hands shaking as he breathed heavily, trying to calm himself down. Shocked, it was Marlon’s turn as James tore into him with pain clear in his voice. “My philosophy is the only thing that’s kept me human! Everything I’ve seen, the things other people have done, it doesn’t need to happen! No one has to kill anyone else, human or walker!”

“James-!”

“ _No!”_ The harsh tone in his voice was so different to the soft-spoken James he knew. Still sitting there, Marlon kept quiet as James calmed down slightly. That anger had vanished, replaced with pain and sorrow, and even his voice lost most of its biting edge.

“This world is full of people who think killing is the only answer. I… I been one of those people before. I can’t go back to that.”

“James. Fuck…” With the intensity subsiding and Marlon calming down, he was hit with an unbearable wave of guilt, unable to stomach seeing James’ face like that and instead glanced away. Softly, he countered the other’s claim. “Not everyone can think like you. I wish this whole mess never happened, but it just doesn’t work like that. I have so many people counting on me. I can’t put them in danger over what I personally believe.”

“Then… what’s the point?” It wasn’t a defeatist attitude that clung to the question. James was scared, confused. He was looking desperately for answers that Marlon did not have.

“I don’t know.”

It seemed that his response had no comforting effect on James. Eyes darting around, he thought deeply, and with a shake of his head, James left the office quickly, running off to somewhere unknown while Marlon continued to sit on the floor. He didn’t know if he handled that right, or if he had lost James forever, but he had other things on his mind at the moment.

He’d just have to try and move on.

 

_In life I loved you dearly,_

_In death I love you still._

 

They hadn’t talked in a week.

James had kept mostly to his tent, unwilling to let anyone in besides Tenn, and even then they only sat there in silence while James thought to himself. The fight with Marlon still clung to him, unable to be shaken off as the blonde’s words struck something deep in him. His philosophy was all he had. If that meant nothing, what was the point in surviving in a world where people killed just as easily and readily as the walkers?

Yet he couldn’t say Marlon was wrong over being upset with his friends’ deaths. James saw it himself, unfortunate people coming across walkers and being torn apart, but they were peaceful when left alone. Humans went out of their way to find conflict. He knew that, his old group proved that to him.

Laying down on his sleeping bag, he stared up at the different shapes on the ceiling, flickering with the paper full of cut out shapes sitting on top of the lantern, changing the light as it shone through. Tenn made it, delving more into his sketches to try and cope with the deaths of his sisters. James was sympathetic to his pain, wondering what Charlie was doing at that moment.

Was he even still alive?

After the carnage at that community the Whisperers attacked, James couldn’t be sure of anything anymore.

With night falling and dinner close to being done, he could hear people chat amongst themselves, all save Willy’s loud voice echoing all the way across the courtyard. The thought of food made his stomach growl, but before he could get off his bed, he was greeted by a familiar face peeking into his tent. Both of them froze, staring at each other as uncomfortable silence fell over them.

“Hey.” Marlon finally said, unsure whether he was allowed to come further into the tent. “I was just, uh… Just wanted to let you know that dinner’s almost done. Rabbit stew again.”

He laughed awkwardly, but James didn’t feel like laughing. His steely expression caused Marlon’s laugh to die out quickly, going back to just standing there in silence. There was so many things he wanted to say, wanted Marlon to explain, but the fight they had continued to hurt him deeply, and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to hear what Marlon had to say. James came to him to comfort the grief-stricken teen, and in return he was screamed at and insulted.

“That’s not the only reason. I just…” He scrambled for the right words, completely lose on what to say before he sighed in frustration. James watched him closely, gesturing for him to come inside out of the cold.

He jumped at the chance, letting the flap close behind him as he sat down on the other sleeping bag. Just the two of them sitting there, James said nothing, letting Marlon have the chance to elaborate on his failed attempt before. Now that he was sitting there, he seemed even less confident in himself, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried again. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like I did. You came to my office to be a good friend, and I was such an asshole. I just want you to know I’m sorry.”

“Yeah… I know you are. It’s alright.”

“It’s not, though. I don’t want you to… hate me.” Marlon looked away at that. He seemed different to how he usually was, no longer confident, or even able to hold a simple gaze with the other boy. James raised an eyebrow at that, saying nothing as his friend continued. “I know it doesn’t excuse what I did but… Minnie was the same. She never like killing anything, not even walkers. Now she’s gone. If the same thing happened to you, I don’t think I’m strong enough to cope with it.”

“Marlon, I-”

James stopped when he felt something touch the top of his hand. Glancing down, he was stunned into silence when he saw Marlon’s hand on top of his. It was a gentle action, hesitant, like he would wrench it away at the slightest hint of rejection, but James found himself wanting it to stay there. When he gave no signal that he was uncomfortable with the gesture, the uneasiness on Marlon’s face washed away, and he gained some of that confidence back again as he looked down at their intertwined hands.

“I was thinking about what you said. How this world’s full of people who think killing’s the only way.” A pause, and then he added in a quieter tone. “Were any of those people… close to you?”

The question blindsided James. He sat there, eyes widened as he glanced away, thinking carefully. Marlon seemed to have realised his mistake, quickly backtracking his verbal fuckup. “Nevermind. Let’s just drop it.”

“Yes.” He suddenly replied, staring at his lantern with a saddened expression. “A few, actually.”

Marlon didn’t say anything to push James to continue, even by the look on his face  he was obviously curious to hear more about him. All the time he spent at the school, no one knew anything about James’ past besides what he told Marlon when he first came. Even them trying to pry more information out at Louis’ card games didn’t work.

With Marlon’s hand holding onto his, he decided to talk a little about his past after all. “The group I was with, the one I told you when we first met.”

“Yeah, the Wishers or something.”

“The Whisperers.” Marlon chuckled to himself, nervous over the little fuck up, but James didn’t hold it against him as he continued. “They… believed kindness was a poison, and so did I. For so long. So much so that when another boy showed sympathy for the enemy before an attack…”

The memory was almost too painful to remember. James paused, unsure if he was able to continue, and Marlon sat there and made sure James knew he was there. Slowly, he turned to stare at the hand once more, worried that if he said anything the warmth would disappear, but he couldn’t drop the subject now. Breathing in to calm his nerves, he confessed quietly. “I slit his throat.”

Just as he feared, Marlon instantly released his hand and sat there with shock easily visible in those bright blue eyes. James didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything, sitting there as Marlon tried to think through what he said. Finally, he listened as Marlon choked out. “T-That... That doesn’t sound like you.”

“I know. After it happened, I heard his words everywhere. ‘They’re the same as us, just down a different path’. I left my group shortly after, but it broke my...”

“Your… what?”

James didn’t know if he could talk about Charlie. Looking at that sad smile on Marlon’s face, it felt like he was back there again, listening to Charlie comfort him on those nights were everything felt too heavy. After a few moments had passed, Marlon leaned closer and placed a hand on James’ shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. We’re all entitled to our own secrets.”

“Thank you.” Not yet. Maybe another time, when he’s ready to think about it.

“Hey, considering you told me about your past, I think it’s fair for you to learn something about me.” Marlon suggested, leaning back with his hands pressed against the ground behind him. A sly smirk was visible on his lips as he added. “But you gotta guess first.”

James laughed at that, grateful for the conversation to move away from the awkward topic. Thinking carefully, he scratched the side of his neck and guess.”Uh… I don’t know, stole one too many cars?”

“So we’re going for criminal? Sorry, I’m not that dashing.” He joked, taking the guess on the chin with his smirk still there. “Come on, guess again.”

“Hmm. Troublemaker at school?”

“Troublemaker? Really? Didn’t know you were fifty.” Rude. Troublemaker was a perfectly fine word to use. “But you actually ain’t far off.”

That peaked his interest. Pulling his legs up, James sat there patiently while Marlon’s smirk faded. He was more serious, staring ahead with his eyebrows furrowing in thought. After a while, James thought he wouldn’t say anything, but before he could try to change the subject, Marlon finally came clean about his past. “I didn’t really grow up with much. Dad fucked off before I was even born, but my mom did all she could to raise me right. Even when I made it really hard for her.”

“Were you two close?”

“We were at one point, yeah. Didn’t last.” Marlon copied James’ position, wrapping his arms around the top of his legs with his chin resting on top. “I wasn’t the perfect son. Fuck, I don’t think I was even a great son. Always made things harder than they needed to be.”

James let him rant on. The more he talked about it, the more he let off his chest, the more relaxed Marlon seemed. Soon enough, his voice took a saddened tone. “I was a fuck up in school. Always having something to say, always blowing off when things went wrong. They took one look at my mom and our small trailer and decided ‘She’s an unfit mother, she’s the reason he’s like this’. Shipped off to Ericson a few days after the social worker came visiting. You know the worst thing about it?”

Those eyes bore into James’, unwavering as Marlon revealed. “I don’t even know if she’s alive or dead or a fucking walker. She never knew what happened to me either. Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Why would you say that?”

“I’m not a good person, James.” James could say nothing to comfort him when he said that. Rather, he sat there and listened intently. “I hate the adults for leaving us here to die, but I’m not gonna lie and say I’m a great guy. Not like Louis or Aasim or Ruby. Fuck… What am I even doing?”

He shook his head, leaning further into his arms while James thought carefully. The silence between them filled in quickly, only occasionally broken by the shouts of the kids outside once more. Dinner would surely be done soon. Even with his stomach bothering him, it was the worry rather than the hunger, and when Marlon showed no moment where he could bounce back from the depressing topic, James decided to try and pick his spirits up again.

“For what it’s worth I… like who you are now.”

“What? Really?”

James smiled at the tone in Marlon’s voice. “You sound surprised at that.”

“No, I just, uh… Shit.” The simple conclusion brought another quick laugh from James, who looked away momentarily as Marlon added. “Honestly, when we first met I just thought you were pretty weird. Not in an asshole way but like a ‘What is going on?’ sorta way, and when you decided you wanted to stay… I was glad. More so than I thought I would’ve been.”

Stretching out his legs again, James’ smile brightened when Marlon glanced away briefly, looking bashful as he appeared thoughtful. Finally, he confessed. “I gotta admit I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone.”

“Feel what way?” Marlon didn’t reply to that. Rather, he closed the space between them, pausing every so often to see whether James was getting uncomfortable or unnerved. When he showed no protest, he leaned in, and closed his eyes just as James did.

He never thought Marlon’s lips would be quite as soft as they were. The kiss itself was over in a moment, Marlon pulling back with his face a bright red shade, apologies being thrown out as he backed up from James. “Sorry, I didn’t, shit, I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, it was…” He trailed off, feeling the heat radiating off his own face as well. There was only one thing on his mind, however, and he had to get it out before getting too far into whatever it was this was. “So, what is this exactly?”

“Huh? Well, I mean… I guess it can be what it is for now, if you want?”

Another chance. James gave himself a moment to think it through, reeling from the sudden kiss and the prospect of going into another relationship. It had been years since Charlie and the Whisperers. Could he open himself up for that chance again?

Looking into Marlon’s eyes, those deep blue eyes that he found himself transfixed with, he nodded and smiled softly. “I’m willing to try.”

Marlon’s shy smile changed into a bright grin after he said that. He chuckled to himself, giddy at the idea of sharing a meaningful relationship with someone like James, something that made that worry gnawing at his innards fade away. He thought of kissing the blonde again, but decided against it when Louis burst into his tent, sending both of them scrambling to hide any hint of embarrassment or blushing from the newcomer.

“You’ve been in here for ages!” Glancing between them, he raised an eyebrow with a smirk playing at his lips. “You guys all done in here?”

“Fuck off, Louis.” Marlon groaned in frustration, pushing his best friend’s face out of the tent all while he laughed it off. As soon as he left, Marlon paused, looking over his shoulder at James as he shrugged. “We should get going anyway. Before Willy eats all the food again.”

With that, he climbed out of the tent. James paused for a moment, looking over at his backpack that had all his possessions from before, including a photo of him and Charlie. Deciding against looking at it again, he sighed contently and left to follow after Marlon.

He was willing to see where the thing between them was heading.

 

_In my heart you hold a place,_

_That no one could ever fill._

 

“You really think they’ll get along enough to get shit done today?”

James looked over from the mattress that Rosie had taken as her own. Marlon’s office had gotten more hectic as the year passed by, with the blonde finding less and less time or energy to clean up and keep everything organised. On top of that, he was finding it difficult keeping everyone fed with the safe zone getting smaller and smaller.

James didn’t know what to do, but it was obvious that Marlon was slowly losing it.

“I think Violet and Brody’ll put their differences aside to find food. We’re running low as it is.” Shuffling along, he got up from the mattress, ignoring Rosie as she stretched out over the entirety of her bed, enjoying the newfound space while James approached his boyfriend. Marlon didn’t seem to share his optimism, staring at the map with tired and reddened eyes.

He was worried for Marlon now. Gently, a hand rested on the blonde’s shoulder, feeling the muscle underneath stiffen. “Marlon. You should get some rest. You’ve been at this all night.”

“I just need to make sure everyone is safe. If they go past the safe zone, I… Something bad will happen. I know it.”

“You’re not helping anyone by doing this to yourself.” Marlon offered some resistance when James tried to pull him away, but sure enough, he finally left the desk alone and allowed himself to melt fully in the other’s embrace. His head rested on James’ shoulder, his breath warm and tickling, and hands held onto his bare arms. After getting rid of his bloodied sweater, he took to wearing a plain white T-shirt while indoors.

He had even found time to walk around in just his socks, enjoying the feeling of not having leather boots rub and chafe his feet constantly.

Marlon started feeling heavier in his grip, almost like he was falling asleep in his arms right there, but sure enough he stirred awake as he apparently recalled something. Backing off, he picked his jacket up from the back of his office chair while swearing to himself. “Shit.”

“What is it?”

“I forgot I was meant to be going out on a hunting trip with Louis and the others. Only time I can get him away from that fucking piano.” James must had shown his disappointment clearly, as Marlon kissed him softly on the forehead and comforted him. “I’ll be back before nightfall.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for you, then.” James promised, keeping a smile on his face up until Marlon actually left the room with Rosie. When he was alone, he let the facade fade and stood there in silence. Marlon looked like he was ready to drop right there, and yet continued to push himself more and more. He was worried that one day his boyfriend would push himself beyond the breaking point.

Either way, he had things to be done.

Shoes and jacket on, he took the time to walk around the school before winding up in the courtyard. The hunting party took most of what little kids were left, and with Violet and Brody gone to the shack, that just left Omar, Willy, Tenn and James behind to watch over the school. There wasn’t going to be anyone stumbling past, he hadn’t seen other people since he got to the school, but Marlon was adamant that a watch be set up just in case.

Walking over to the wooden watch tower built next to the wall, he looked up, spotting Tenn up there with Willy. Arms crossed over his chest, he raised an eyebrow and called up. “You two doing alright up there?”

“Yep! Just on watch duty!” Willy replied loudly.

“Willy. Too loud.” James sighed, rubbing his ear in pain. Even after spending so long around the child, he could barely stand dealing with the loudness for longer than a few minutes. Sheepishly, Willy nodded and looked out across the vast forest that surrounded the school. Standing there, James decided to ask them while he was there. “Did you see Marlon before he left?”

“Yeah, he went with the others just before.” Tenn replied, kicking the top of the watch tower with his boots. He seemed nervous, picking at his fingers while muttering. “I hope they’re alright.”

“Don’t worry. I think they’ll be okay.” James comforted, smiling softly at Tenn hoping to make him feel better.

Luckily, Tenn trusted him and nodded with the worry fading away, but that didn’t mean the twisted sensation in James’ gut left too. He hated Marlon leaving the school grounds, especially with the walkers coming through lately. Either he or they would be hurt, and that scared James more than anything else, but he couldn’t let it show at the moment. Right now, he just had to pretend and hope for the best.

Climbing up the watchtower, he spent some time with the kids, listening as Willy rambled about the new weapons that Mitch promised to show him, and what he wished he could eat besides rabbit stew. Tenn didn’t share the same experiences, finding Omar’s food delicious, and sure enough the conversation turned to what they missed most from before the plague. Willy was the first to answer. “Jello.”

“Really?” From the look on Tenn’s face, he didn’t seem to agree with Willy. “Jello’s gross.”

“You’re gross.”

“What about you, Tenn?” James intervened, leaning against the railing while Tenn thought carefully about it.

“Cupcakes.” He eventually revealed. “Minnie and Sophie used to bake them with me all the time. Sophie’s were really good, but I don’t think Minnie made a good baker.”

“How come?”

“She always burnt them. Sophie always joked that they could use them in the fireplace we had.” Poor Minerva. The thought of her holding a tray of burnt cupcakes made James smile and shake his head, even with the looming reminder of her death hanging over the entire school. “What about you?”

“Hmm… Pineapple pizza.”

“Oh, gross!” Willy gagged, shaking his head in disgust.

“I like pineapple pizza.” Tenn defended. Even over something as silly as that, James smiled at having someone in his corner over his tastes. He didn’t care what Willy said, pineapple pizza was the best.

He continued to gag and diss it, however, but sure enough they laughed it off and carried on talking about the most random of topics. It was a nice break after having to deal with the stress of making sure everyone was fed, and all James did was watch Marlon go over the map again and again until he was sure the plan would be fine. This short break was exactly what he needed, and all he can hope for was that Marlon too had a chance when he returned.

When he finally did, James didn’t expect him to be carrying an unconscious child in his arms.

 

_It broke my heart to lose you,_

_But you didn't go alone_

 

Clementine and AJ. Those were the people that Marlon brought back that day James stood on the watchtower.

Clementine didn’t stir from her state until a few hours later, and all that time she was locked in one of the bedrooms, AJ had ran amok in blind panic. It was obvious he never had to deal with a situation without his guardian beside him. James tried to calm him, but all he got was a bit mark on his thumb and Louis whisking him off to the music room to calm him down with his piano.

Ruby checked him over, having suffered the same injury after tapping the child on the shoulder, unknowing what would happen. Thankfully, neither of them were seriously injured with the bites not even breaking skin, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting like a bitch, especially since James was no longer wearing his walker skin gloves. He never knew Louis could calm down the frantic child so well, and with Clementine having gotten back on her feet after her injury, AJ had calmed down more so.

The first day they spent after coming went well enough. Clementine introduced herself to James, apologised for AJ’s behaviour, and left the school to help Aasim and Louis with hunting, taking the boy with her. James spent that time with Marlon in his office, listening closely as he explained what he was planning with Clementine and AJ. Turned out that he was willing to let them stay, even after AJ’s behaviour the other night, and James found himself relieved that he extended the safety of the school to the newcomers.

With the walkers coming through the forest after the car crash, it wasn’t safe for them out there. Not past the safe zone.

He would’ve stayed in his office more, if not for Brody coming in panicking and ranting about something they found while hunting, as well as someone stealing from their fish traps. James tried to learn more, but Marlon was quick to kick him out, asking him to give the two some space to talk privately. Being kept out of the loop hurt, but James didn’t feel like he should’ve pushed more to stay, rather leaving the office to allow them to discuss what they needed to. It was strange that only she returned, though.

Aasim came back before without Louis, carrying a few rabbits that Clementine apparently helped him catch, but the others didn’t come back. Even when James kept watch until night fell, he couldn’t see them anywhere. This was bad. Where were they?

Did they run into trouble? Did they get caught out there like Minerva and Sophie?

He couldn’t entertain the idea of not hearing Louis’ piano music playing in the main building, or even Violet’s snarky comments during their card games together. But most of all, he _knew_ Marlon wouldn't be able to cope if he lost any more of the kids under his leadership. So he stood there and hoped and prayed that he was wrong. That the others would come home.

And when they did, carrying duffle bags full of food, James had never been so happy to be wrong.

Climbing down from the watchtower, he was quick to join the others as they gathered around one of the tables, staring at the multiple bags that were full to the brim of canned goods. One can rolled out after Louis dropped it onto the table, stopped from rolling onto the floor by James as he picked it up and examined the label. Beans. You can do a lot of things with beans.

The other kids erupted in a chorus of praises and disbelief that there was actual food in front of them.

“Woah, where’d you get all this stuff?”

“Holy shit!”

“You’re our saviour, Clem.”

“I couldn’t have done this without Violet and Louis helping me.” She brushed off, rubbing the back of her neck bashfully.

Aasim chuckled at that, holding one of the cans as he pointed out. “Neither of them brought home this much food before.”

Annoyed, Louis leaned forward and glared at his friend. “Neither have you.”

“You guys were gone for so long. I was starting to get worried.” James confessed, putting the can he was holding back down on the table.

Louis smirked at that, clasping his hand on James’ back roughly, nearly knocking the wind out of him as he quickly steadied himself. Shooting him an annoyed glare, James couldn’t help but smile when Louis laughed it off, unable to find it in him to stay angry at the teen for long. While the others enjoyed the comfort that food wouldn’t be a problem for a while now, he spotted Brody approaching.

She looked like she wasn’t in a good mood.

“What’s all this?” Brody asked, stopping in front of the table as she looked over all the food that Clementine and the others had gathered.

“We went back to the train station to find this. Lucky I remembered it after all that shit with the car.” Clementine explained, still recovering from the injuries and near death experience with the car the other day.

Brody paused for a moment, her eyes darting around as she thought over what Clementine said, and sure enough that same panic set in as she replied in disbelief. “The train station. That’s outside the safe zone!”

“Yeah, we woulda had more but this weird guy jumped us there.” Violet revealed, shrugging as she helped pack some of the food back in the bags to be stored away.

“G-Guy? What guy?” Brody was becoming more unhinged. James could see that look in her eyes, like a deer being caught in headlights, and he watched the situation unfold nervously.

“Some guy asked us for food. I gave him some and he left us alone.” Clementine joined in, looking over at Brody in confusion. “There’s still plenty for the rest of us.”

“You gave some of our food away? What the fuck?!” Her outburst caught everyone off guard, especially Clementine as she jumped back, staring at the nervous wreck with widened eyes.

“What the hell is going on?” Marlon’s voice cut in. James looked behind him, finding his boyfriend coming up from behind and placing a hand on his shoulder, gazing at all the food with narrowed eyes.

“She went outside the safe zone! They saw someone!” Brody revealed, nearing Marlon as he shook his head. “You know what that means!”

“ _Enough!”_ His shout came completely unexpected. Brody listened however, backing up slightly as he tried to rationalise things out. “It just means there’s a hungry guy out there looking for some food. You are overreacting.”

His dismissal of her worried had Brody standing there, mouth agape as she sputtered out. “You can’t be serious!”

This fight was getting heated. Marlon approached her, muttering something to her while grabbing hold of her upper arm, and James thought about stepping in and calming things down. Before he could even take a step towards thought, Brody wrenched her arm from his grip and shoved Marlon to the ground, the force she put behind it sending him flying on his ass. Shocked, James was immediately by his side. “Marlon!”

“If something happens, I’m holding _you_ responsible!” She snapped at Clementine, jabbing a finger in the other girl’s chest before storming off. Clementine stood there tall, glaring at the retreating Brody while James helped Marlon back to his feet.

He never would’ve thought things would get this bad. Brody wasn’t like this normally.

Accepting his help, Marlon groaned as he rubbed his lower back, clearly in pain from the shove. Yet, he refused any more help and instead addressed Clementine directly. “Clem, I know I asked for your help but… shit.”

“Hey. I’m sorry for going out the safe zone, but at least no one died.” She pointed out softly, looking guilty for causing this much trouble to the people that saved her and AJ.

“She’s right. We don’t have to worry about food for a while now, thanks to her.” James jumped in, earning a grateful smile from the teenage girl as she stood there.

Marlon didn’t seem as grateful though. He looked pissed, and with Brody having stormed off somewhere unknown, he would have to deal with that later. Lips pulled back in a snarl, he shrugged off James’ hand and walked off, muttering under his breath while they stood there silently. The others took the hint to get things ready for dinner. While they worked around, James turned to see Clementine’s downtrodden face.

She seemed so defeated.

Slowly, he placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling awkward and nervous when she looked up at him waiting for him to say something. Finally, he looked back at Marlon walking into the main building and offered. “I’ll talk to him, okay? You helped us. He’ll see it like that soon enough.”

“Thanks.” She replied gratefully, getting back to helping with dinner while James went off to sort things out with Marlon.

By the time he entered the main building, the other teenager was nowhere to be seen. Without the sunlight beaming in and the soft piano, the building felt cold and unwelcoming. Even the stairs creaked loudly when he walked up them, adding to the creepy feeling of the school, and he couldn’t help but find the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. The noises continued even when he reached the top of the stairs, staring at the slightly ajar door leading into the office.

Something felt wrong.

The door slowly swung open when Jame placed his hand on it, peering in to find Marlon leaning over the desk once again. He stilled. Standing there with the door still open, he spotted Rosie watching them with those big brown eyes of hers, letting out a soft whine before James put a finger over his lips. Somehow, she understood the gesture and lowered her head again, still watching the humans in the room with a quick lick of her lips.

Lowering his arm, he turned his attention back to Marlon, finding the courage to come into the room and full and finally break the silence between them. “Clem was just doing what she thought was right.”

“James, I ain’t in the mood to talk about fucking Clementine.”

“It seems like you aren’t in the mood to talk about anything lately.” Marlon’s shoulders sagged at that.

While James stood there, he turned around fully to face him, leaning against the desk as he agreed softly. “You ain’t wrong there. Sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“You know you can talk to me.” Closing the office door, James approached Marlon with a saddened smile, trying to lift his spirits. Marlon didn’t return the smile. Instead he stared down at the other’s hands, grabbing hold of them gently while James continued. “You’re not alone in this.”

“I know. Shit, I’m glad you’re at least here with me.” Suddenly, James was pulled into a warm embrace. Shock quickly faded to bliss, with his hands reaching up to pat on Marlon’s back and his face further burying in the warmth emitting from his boyfriend. All the worry and nervousness that he felt before washed away, but the argument with Brody still stuck to him, and he couldn’t let it go without finding out what Marlon planned on doing.

“About Brody…” He could hear Marlon sigh from the mention of the anxious girl. “She was out of line with Clementine. We need to talk about what to say to her.”

“I’ll sort it out later. Please, I just want one minute without someone asking something of me.” Marlon begged.

James didn’t feel right about letting it go, but the desperation in Marlon’s voice pushed him to do exactly that. There was always tomorrow. Tonight, even he was ready to settle down and enjoy the beautiful night with the other boy. Finally, Marlon released him from his grip, backing up slightly while still holding onto his hands. He seemed unsure, like something else was grabbing his attention, and he caught James off guard after he randomly blurted out. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Marlon, what brought this on?”

“I just…” He sighed, running his thumb over James’ knuckles as he continued. “It’s just after everything lately, I realised that I hadn’t said those words in some time. Too long if you ask me.”

His reasoning warmed James’ heart, and he found himself confessing without thinking it through as well. “I love you too.”

That smile came back. The one that made everything feel alright again. Breathing in and exhaling in a quick sigh, Marlon spun around with James in his arms, leading back to the mattress as he suggested. “Let’s get some sleep, okay? After today I’m ready to collapse.”

“You’re not the only one.”

Jackets off, shoes kicked across the floor, and soon enough James found himself with his head resting on Marlon’s chest, listening to that heartbeat slowly beating away, along with each breath he took in. It didn’t take long for Marlon to fall asleep, having been left exhausted from the stress of the day and the lack of sleep he was getting recently, but James found it harder to get any sleep. He wasn’t as hungry as he thought he was, especially since he hadn’t gone back downstairs to get his dinner with the rest of the kids, but he didn’t care.

Lying there in silence, he listened to Rosie’s snores and whines as she slept soundly at the end of the bed, a big heavy weight on their feet that brought him both comfort and pain in his toes. Rosie really was a big girl.

With her snoring away, he went back to focusing on Marlon’s heartbeat, slowly drifting away with that familiar _babum, babum, babum_ in his ear.

 

_For part of me went with you,_

_The day God took you home._

 

James never would’ve expected to wake up alone.

The few moments after his sleep was disturbed left him groggy and disoriented, but he soon pushed through it when he found Marlon not by his side and Rosie no longer at the bottom of the bed. Confused, he wondered if Rosie had bothered Marlon enough to let her go outside again, pulling the blankets off him and searching in the pitch dark for his shoes. When he found them, he pulled them over just as a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, briefly illuminating the whole room.

Spooked for a moment, he shook his head and sighed. “Seems like a storm tonight.”

Shoes on, he tapped them against the floor before getting up from the mattress, stretching out his arms while yawning. The joints in his wrists and shoulders popped, the sound loud in the silent room, and having properly stretched, he let his arms drop down to his sides. Might as well try and find them before he’d go back to bed, his tent would be too cold to sleep in tonight.

Taking a step towards the door, he jumped when he heard faint shouting from outside the window. That was definitely not from the storm. Approaching the balcony, he braved the cold rain beating against him as he looked over the balcony. Much to his surprise, he found the other kids gathering around in the courtyard below, but the heavy rain made it difficult to see what was exactly happening. He knew he didn’t have time to waste.

Turning back, he grabbed his jacket and left the office behind, managing to get his arms through the sleeves while running all the way down the numerous stairs, luckily avoiding slipping down them in his haste to get outside and see what was happening. Another flash of lightning illuminated the school, providing him with momentary light before he was once again plunged into darkness. Stumbling over the final step, he righted himself, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart as he pushed the door open roughly.

Once outside at the top of the stairs, he could see what was happening right in front of him.

Just then, Marlon had violently pushed AJ to the ground, snatching what appeared to be a gun from the child’s grip and holding it high in the air. Everyone backed off, clearly terrified as Marlon started waving it around, and that moment James had to step in. Rushing down the stairs, he shouted loudly. “Marlon!”

Marlon stopped, turning his head with the gun still tightly held in his grip. He looked nothing like the Marlon James knew. Those blue eyes once full of life and love were replaced with reddened eyes that looked terrified and exhausted, like it was so much effort to even stay open, but it was the splatter of blood on Marlon’s face that James couldn’t tear his gaze from. Hands in front of him protectively, he circled around his boyfriend, eager to check on AJ to see if he was alright.

Once he was by AJ’s side, he found that Louis had taken it upon himself to help the little boy back to his feet, leaving James to listen as Marlon continued to rant. “This is what we get for saving their lives?! Lies and _murder?!_ Well, fuck that and fuck you!”

With that, he aimed the gun at Clementine. James had no idea what was going on, but watching the scene play out, he stared at the blood splattered all over her clothes and hands, unable to hide the horror as Clementine bit back at Marlon. “You kill me and who’re you gonna trade to your little raider friends when they come knocking?!”

Raiders? What did she mean?

“Brody told me the truth!” she continued, addressing the rest of the kids. “She said that Marlon was planning to give me and AJ away to save himself, and then he killed her!”

Everyone reacted in shock to the revelation. Louis shook his head, unable to believe what Clementine was telling him, and James found himself sharing the same feelings. He couldn’t believe it. The same Marlon who comforted him, who told him that he loved him, just like Charlie had before, he couldn’t bring himself to think of him as the same guy who was standing in front of everyone and waving a gun around.

When no one said anything about it, Marlon growled out loud. “Oh, come the fuck on! Who are you guys’ gonna actually believe? Me, your loyal friend, or Johnny-Come-Lately and her fucking little lunatic?!”

The gun was aimed back at her, and with the severity of the situation finally dawning on her, she froze in spot while everyone around her starting agreeing with what Marlon was saying. However, Omar piped up. “She did get food for us.”

“What good is food if people are just gonna come and take it?” Aasim shot back, not sharing the same trust in the newcomer as a few others did.

Clementine glanced around in a panic, seeing her support in the other kids fading fast as Marlon’s words gripped their fears and insecurities. James didn’t want to believe her capable of doing anything like this, but he didn’t want to believe Marlon was lying to not just everyone, but to him as well. Not Marlon.

Suddenly, Clementine called out for an unlikely ally amongst the kids. “James, you said you were going to talk to Marlon. Can’t you see he’s clearly fucked up?! He’s pointing a gun right at me!”

“Don’t you fucking talk to him!” Marlon snapped, glancing over at James as he added. “James knows me a whole lot better than you! He knows I wouldn’t go around murdering a friend!”

“Did he really know you or did he only know the person you were pretending?” She shot back.

“Clem, I…” James started, shaking his head as he tried to make sense of everything. It all felt heavy on him, almost suffocating, and in the end he couldn’t bring himself to abandon the one person he cares about more than anything else. “I can’t go against Marlon. Not him. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re just gonna let him shoot me and all you can say is sorry?!” She yelled at him, her hands balling into fists as she added coldly. “I thought you were better than that, James. I thought you never wanted bloodshed.”

“I don’t! I… I don’t know.” She was right. This was wrong, he couldn’t abandon his morals just because it was someone he loved on the other side. Shifting his gaze from Clementine to Marlon, James tried to defuse the situation. “Marlon, lower the gun. We don’t have to do thi-”

“James! She fucking killed Brody, and you’re just gonna let her get away with it?!” Before James could reply, Marlon turned his attention back to the teenage girl and lifted the gun, his hand shaking as his resolve faltered. “I won’t.”

Realising that she was fighting a losing battle, Clementine started the weapon down and waited, knowing that there was little else she could do to change minds that had already been made up. James shook his head, watching the scene with widened eyes before he decided to take actions. Without hesitation, he left the sidelines and immediately put himself between Clementine and the gun, holding an arm out so that she would stay behind him safe. The moment he did so, Marlon moved the gun in shock, no longer aiming at James, but rather off to the side.

“James.” The betrayal in his voice stung deeply, but James stood his ground, even when Marlon repeated himself. “James, get out of the way.”

“No. That’s enough, Marlon. Violence shouldn’t be the first thing you jump to!” James shot back.

His intervention gave the other kids the courage to do the same, leaving the sidelines as they approached Marlon with the intentions of getting the gun away from him. Backing off, his hand shook while he looked around, shaking his head in disbelief with his support quickly falling apart. When he finally spoke up, his voice cracked with intense emotion. “You guys don’t understand at all.”

Lowering the gun, he glanced at the floor, his free hand balling up as he suddenly lifted the gun up again and aimed around wildly, screaming at the kids at the top of his voice. “I’m try to _protect you!_ All of you! Every _fucking_ one of you!”

“How is pointing a gun at us protecting anyone?!” Clementine shot back, standing beside James now that she was out of danger. “Sophie and Minnie are gone, Brody is dead! You suck at protecting!”

“You shut your mouth!” Marlon snapped. “I made the right choice! If they came back, I’d do it again!”

His confession sparked outcries from the other kids, all of them disgusted with his words as they all chewed him out. James didn’t join in. He just stood there, staring at Marlon with no disgust or anger or fear in his face. He was devastated. The boy he had spent so much time with over the year and a half, who had confessed his fears and who comforted him, was standing there, ranting and screaming while threatening the very people he was meant to protect with a gun. When Marlon met his gaze, all James could say was. “How could you?”

Clementine looked up in concern as James approached him, letting rip into the traitor. “You looked me right in the eyes and you acted like Sophie and Minnie died! All this time, when I told you _everything_ about my past, you just kept on lying to my face! What the _fuck?!”_

“I…” Marlon stopped, finally lowering the gun as he turned to see Tenn standing there. “I wanted to tell you, or at least rescue them later but… I was too scared.”

“You killed Brody because she knew?” Tenn asked.

Sniffling, Marlon shook his head. “Mmm-hmm. I didn’t mean to. I never wanted any of this!”

“There’s still time to fix this, Marlon.” Clementine suggested, approaching him for a moment before pausing with the gun in his hand still rendering him a threat. “We can rescue the twins, but only if we do it together.”

“Marlon… drop the gun.” James pushed, staring down at the weapon with a unnerved look on his face.

Finally, Marlon glanced at the gun, lifting it up while staring at it for a moment, and during that, James waited with bated breath to see what he would do. Much to his relief, Marlon tossed it away from him, and the situation calmed down enough that even Rosie, who was frantically barking all through that time, had stopped to watch what went on. No one said anything, all reeling from the intense argument that just took place while Marlon briefly brushed his hand across his face.

Clementine kept close to James, breathing heavily as the adrenaline started to run out, and even he felt the same way after staring down the barrel of a gun. With them standing there, Marlon addressed all of them. “I know I betrayed you. All of you… Just let me leave. You’ll never hear from me again.”

Slowly, he walked towards Clementine and James as he finished. “Let me become a bad memory.”

Clementine appeared thoughtful, going over Marlon’s request, but James wouldn’t even think it through. Walking up close to Marlon, he shook his head and replied. “No. You don’t get to just leave like that.”

“James, I-”

“There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me change my mind. The things you did, I don’t know if I can forgive them, but I know you want to make things right.” With uncertainty plaguing his thoughts, he slowly grabbed hold of Marlon’s hands, just like he did all those times he was scared or stressed, and stared straight into his blue eyes. “Stay here and fix things, Marlon.”

Marlon didn’t say anything. He didn’t even seem to believe in himself enough to think he can fix things, but looking at James, he nodded and smiled softly, hoping that at the very least, James would smile back. With a sigh, he conceded. “Okay. I’ll sta-”

A piercing gunshot rang through the air. James didn’t have time to react, standing there one minute and the next finding Marlon lurching forward with blood splattered all over his face. The sudden shift in weight threw him off, causing him to fall to his knees with Marlon still in his arms, unresponsive when James lifted him back up. The sight of the bullet hole in the middle of his forehead made James want to throw up. Blonde hair stained red with blood, dripping down onto his hands as James lifted one up.

It shook terribly when he saw the stained blood as clear as day.

It threw him back into the past. Knife in hand, stained in blood, and a body left bleeding out on the floor.

No. No, no, no, _no!_

_Please not him._

_Please don’t take him!_

He couldn’t scream. He couldn’t cry. All James could do was sit there with Marlon’s corpse in his arms and AJ repeating back what Clementine taught him in the background.

Everyone gathered around him, no one able to say anything with the horror leaving them all reeling. And when he cradled Marlon’s face, he stared into those open eyes, constantly staring up at the skies in permanent shock. Those blue eyes that no longer sparkled when he laughed or darted around when he was nervous. They were unmoving.

They were dead.


End file.
